Is This Good Parenting?
#1
A friend of my Mrs has put 10k in two accounts... when their daughters turn 21... the money will be transferred to their accounts.
What they have said though... is every time they are naughty... £50 comes out. So if they tell the daughter to put bins out... and they don’t do it... they’ll be no arguments... no shouting, but £50 will come out of their account.
They came up with this idea because every request to walk dog/do chores/homework/tidy room became a battleground.
The girls won’t know when £50 comes out... it’s a totally passive system.


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#2
The girls will owe them 10k when they get to 21 then if it's anything like this house Smile

Fair play to them for saving 20k up in the first place too.
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#3
They 60k inheritance. They built a extension, new car and put left over in girls account. I’m undecided as to if it’s good parenting or lazy parenting. They have done this new system since June. They say it’s made life far more pleasant for all of them. Long term I think it may make the girls resent them.


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#4
(04-09-2019, 15:57 PM)mushroom Wrote: They 60k inheritance. They built a extension, new car and put left over in girls account. I’m undecided as to if it’s good parenting or lazy parenting. They have done this new system since June. They say it’s made life far more pleasant for all of them. Long term I think it may make the girls resent them.


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Rewards in cash for good behaviour......hmmm I am not sure I am not a parent so cant comment but if me parents done that to me I would say feck the money
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#5
(04-09-2019, 16:46 PM)Razorsedge Wrote: Rewards in cash for good behaviour......hmmm I am not sure I am not a parent so cant comment but if me parents done that to me I would say feck the money


Yea... I think it will lead to resentment... especially if one daughter behaves and one doesn’t. I suppose on the flip side... it will teach the kids that good decision making leads to rewards.


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#6
(04-09-2019, 15:57 PM)mushroom Wrote: They 60k inheritance. They built a extension, new car and put left over in girls account. I’m undecided as to if it’s good parenting or lazy parenting. They have done this new system since June. They say it’s made life far more pleasant for all of them. Long term I think it may make the girls resent them.


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Ah gotya.  Well it's better than just giving it to them I suppose.  Did they say how much they have taken out so far?
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#7
(04-09-2019, 14:52 PM)mushroom Wrote: A friend of my Mrs has put 10k in two accounts... when their daughters turn 21... the money will be transferred to their accounts.
What they have said though... is every time they are naughty... £50 comes out. So if they tell the daughter to put bins out... and they don’t do it... they’ll be no arguments... no shouting, but £50 will come out of their account.
They came up with this idea because every request to walk dog/do chores/homework/tidy room became a battleground.
The girls won’t know when £50 comes out... it’s a totally passive system.


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I think its a fairly awful idea.
Firstly £50 is far too harsh, fiver tops.
Secondly the parent is going to spend a lot of time moving money around. Worst of all, those kids will be sent half-mad by the intrigue of it all. the system doesn't allow any form of forgiveness. Forgiveness is an important lesson in life, but those kids end up being punished forever for some daft thing they did when they were 6.
They will also end up measuring everything in terms of £.

Its a "No" from me.
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#8
Yes. As Raggy said, measuring personal relationships in terms of financial bribery just doesn’t sit right with me. You should be fostering an attitude of empathy where children see how their actions can hurt or help others instead of seeing how it affects their pocket. Can’t see how that generates a healthy emotional mind as an adult and also could mean you end up nurturing a kid that goes on to become a Tory MP - and I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. Wink
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#9
How old are they?  With a starting bank like that, they should be taught matched betting.  They could double their legacy and learn maths at the same time.
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#10
Slightly different but parent based.
Hands up if you've threatened a ridiculous sanction for misbehaving kids.
’If you don't do such and such you'll lose your season ticket'
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#11
(04-09-2019, 20:06 PM)elgin eagle Wrote: How old are they?  With a starting bank like that, they should be taught matched betting.  They could double their legacy and learn maths at the same time.
Hoho
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#12
(04-09-2019, 20:31 PM)Yuri Gagarin Wrote: Slightly different but parent based.
Hands up if you've threatened a ridiculous sanction for misbehaving kids.
’If you don't do such and such you'll lose your season ticket'
I tried that and they behaved even worse Smile in fairness it was the Peter Taylor era.
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#13
A taser issued to all parents would solve any insolence.
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#14
(04-09-2019, 18:28 PM)Raggy Wrote: I think its a fairly awful idea.
Firstly £50 is far too harsh, fiver tops.
Secondly the parent is going to spend a lot of time moving money around. Worst of all, those kids will be sent half-mad by the intrigue of it all. the system doesn't allow any form of forgiveness. Forgiveness is an important lesson in life, but those kids end up being punished forever for some daft thing they did when they were 6.
They will also end up measuring everything in terms of £.

Its a "No" from me.


Agree
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#15
The kids are teenagers, and they’ve been troublesome for a while. I think the novelty we wear off... and the kids will resent the power their parents have over them.


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#16
(05-09-2019, 09:59 AM)mushroom Wrote: The kids are teenagers, and they’ve been troublesome for a while. I think the novelty we wear off... and the kids will resent the power their parents have over them.


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yup, that is one way to make your kids hate you
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#17
(05-09-2019, 09:59 AM)mushroom Wrote: The kids are teenagers, and they’ve been troublesome for a while. I think the novelty we wear off... and the kids will resent the power their parents have over them.


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I think not knowing when they have been penalised will mean they end up ignoring it.

They can't respect behaviour boundaries if they don't know where the boundaries are set.
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#18
I think the parents are just trying everything. They’re very “right on” type of parents. They don’t believe in raising their voice. So I think they’ve come up with this idea. I’m seeing them Sunday... I’ll get a update.


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#19
(11-09-2019, 09:00 AM)mushroom Wrote: I think the parents are just trying everything. They’re very “right on” type of parents. They don’t believe in raising their voice. So I think they’ve come up with this idea. I’m seeing them Sunday... I’ll get a update.


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Give the kids one of these each - hours of fun Smile

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Megaphone-Han...ect=mobile
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#20
I could do with one of them.

The one thing I’ve noticed about both the kids when I’ve been there is... the first sign of anything not going their way... they both just shout... it’s had to explain... its like if normal conversation is volume 3... the parents will ask them to walk the dogs... and they’ll scream back at volume 10.. “Noooooo I don’t want to” .. not just raised voices but screaming.... it makes me wonder if there’s a Aspergers/autistic thing going on?


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